Nothing is perfect. It doesn’t happen like in the movies. It doesn’t last longer than a few months, like in dreams.
Everything you’ve imagined about the ideal relationship between a man and a woman is wrong. And even if, when you’re caught up in a serious romance, you feel like a young Marilyn Monroe, a sort of darling of fate with a bright future and curled eyelashes. The truth is, when it comes to love, we’re all migrant workers. Nothing comes easy. You have to work hard. Prove yourself. Overcome.
Woman.ua talks about the challenges every couple must overcome to maintain their relationship.
True intimacy is always a risk
Lack of love.
At weddings, the newlyweds are usually unanimously wished two things: children and patience. We respond to the first easily and with an approving smile. The second makes us choke on our champagne: what the hell kind of patience is that? We’re starting a family, not joining a sadomasochistic club.
Love is when you feel cashmere shivers down your spine, not enduring. Love is sitting on a windowsill and gazing at the stars, not enduring. Enduring is old men who have cheated on each other multiple times, living together only to maintain their living space and appearance. Dubovitskaya and Petrosyan—that’s what enduring means. And we—love and synchronously orgasm. Period.
With this approach, your feelings will last until the first serious disagreement. When it turns out he doesn’t consider “The Catcher in the Rye” a banal story about unruly teenagers, and you don’t plan to watch endless “Yolki” all Christmas long. When it turns out you cook vegetables for vinaigrette in separate pots, and he cooks them in the same pan. When you want a vacation in Croatia, and he wants a big-screen TV.
At this point, you’ll consider patience. Or you’ll leave, stuffed with tasteless vinaigrette and completely tired of Svetlakov.
Similarity to parents.
Every girl experiences this moment at one point or another: you turn your head, say something, walk away, give her a sideways glance… and suddenly you realize – damn, this can’t be happening! Everything you just did, every word and gesture, every damn crease between your eyebrows – it’s a dead ringer for your mother’s behavior.
The question is self-explanatory: did you have to spend twenty conscious years convincing yourself you’d never repeat her mistakes, only to now reproduce them with mimicry? To stand before a young clone of your own father and play out a painfully familiar psychological model, sheet music by sheet music? And you thought role-playing was just border inspections with handcuffs from a sex shop.
