Sign 1. Recognizes male primacy
A woman must recognize that a man is number one in the family, that he is the leader, the chief. It’s important for a man to understand that a woman is his supporter, a member of his team, who won’t betray him or cause a mutiny on the ship. Because it’s impossible to protect someone you don’t trust, someone who could stab you in the back at any moment.
A man must be confident that a woman respects his primacy and will not criticize his actions or devalue them, especially in public.
But if a woman categorically disagrees with a man’s opinion, should she still remain silent and agree?
It’s clear that no one will always silently nod their head, approving of any nonsense. Expressing your opinion is possible and necessary, but it must be done correctly.
Women have their own unique, feminine ways of controlling a man. In my mind, a man is a bull, and a woman is a bullfighter, masterfully controlling the bull with a red rag in the arena. It’s not manipulation, it’s control, and that’s okay because we both achieve our goals.
The rule of primacy imposes obligations on men as well. This means not turning women into slaves or stupid fanatics. They must be cared for. Seeing and feeling this care, a woman will give us the trust and devotion we so desperately need. When a man cares for a woman, she is willing to trust him and give him the palm of primacy.
Sign 2. Respects male nature
A woman understands that a man has characteristics that are directly opposite to those of a woman.
Every woman wants a man who is understanding of her needs: someone who is emotionally present when she’s struggling, someone who understands her desire for flowers, compliments, and support. But a man also needs a woman’s understanding and respect for his need to be alone at times.
For example, when a man has a problem, he doesn’t talk about it, preferring to solve it silently, on his own. A woman, on the other hand, turns to a friend to discuss it, seeking support and help.
So, don’t try to get your husband to talk if he’s having problems at work. And then get upset when he stays silent and doesn’t share. It’s disrespectful of his masculine nature.
A man should solve his own problems. As John Gray says, “go into the cave.” And if a woman respects this male need, he will be grateful.
Sign 3. Is a personality
This means she has her own interests that she pursues, rather than being completely absorbed by a man. And when a woman has her own interests that she values, she’s willing to appreciate the interests of others and show them respect.
For example, a common problem: a man watches football, but then tells a woman who is interested in the sport this out loud, commenting, “nonsense, rubbish, boring.” At this point, she shows disrespect, devaluing the man’s emotions, values, and desires.
A man needs to work through the aggression that’s building up inside him. Watching sports, action movies, and shooter games helps him do this. He releases his aggression and feels like a hero.
A normal woman values her own interests and never devalues the interests of her man.
Sign 4: Doesn’t make drama
She knows how to control her emotions and express them responsibly. She doesn’t throw tantrums out of nowhere or nag men over trivial matters. And she knows how to ask in a way that makes a man understand what’s required of him.
Many women like to speak metaphorically, beating around the bush. Instead of saying, “Please take out the trash, it stinks,” they say:
— Do we have anyone to take out the bucket? (The man doesn’t understand rhetorical questions)
— The bucket smells really bad… (doesn’t understand when people speak in hints)
— Could you take out the trash? (He gets irritated when he hears doubts about his abilities in a woman’s words and voice, and the question “could you?” is precisely one of those doubts).
In general, the formula for a healthy relationship is simple: if you want a normal man by your side, you need to be a normal woman. This means:
- trust a man to be the leader (if there is no trust, go to a psychologist and work through the problems in your relationship with your dad);
- understand male psychology (if you don’t know it, study it, it’s useful);
- be a person with healthy self-esteem (if self-esteem is low, it means there are problems with the inner child that need to be worked on);
- be able to control your emotions (if your relationship is plagued by arguments, scandals, and hysterics, you need to master psychological techniques for releasing negative emotions)
